I participate in a number of learning groups where people get to practice their teaching skills and included in the process is the idea of feedback. I wonder what it means to those who are using it. Isn’t feedback simply asking someone to share their thoughts/feelings and experiences in relationship to what was just said or done? I haven’t yet asked anyone.
Read MoreMost of us, if not all have heard people say, “she, he, they even say when referring to themselves, I have a short fuse. What does it mean when your fuse is getting longer?
Read MoreOne of the most essential pieces of the Nonviolent Communication (NVC) puzzle is having a clear understanding of what needs are and tracking on needs as a key way of communicating with each other and making agreements, large and small.
Read MoreEmpathy is essential to having relationships that feel good and are satisfying. And, it often seems so misunderstood and elusive to many. Here’s a primer in how to uncomplicate emapthy.
Read MoreRecently I was visiting with a friend and we were having a lively discussion about something --I can’t remember what. In the middle of our conversation, he said to me, “Could you repeat that? I wasn’t listening.” The honesty of that statement was precious and frankly, funny to me. How many people would say that? How many people would lie and say something else, like “I didn’t hear you,” for fear of the repercussions of their honesty? Would you be offended?
Read MoreNonviolent Communication remains the only body of work (at least that I’m aware of) which encourages (insists?) on tracking the needs of everyone as being equally important. In my opinion this is the essential skill to embrace, no matter how egregious what we are seeing and experiencing is to us.
Read MoreAs you are finding ways to relate to your partner (and others), remember that practicing is the only way you will make the new grooves in your capacity to create something new.
Read MoreSharing my story about the noises in my wall to illustrate the meaning I’ve made and the feelings that I had as a result of my thoughts. The needs are the same: safety, security. My feelings of distress were because I was sure that those needs weren’t being met. The noise meant something bad was happening. I was certain that was true. The same noise, 10 years later, I felt more calm and relaxed because the meaning I made of the noise in my wall was that I was safe and warm. The noise itself, was the same.
Read MoreI might enjoy being enveloped in a juicy hug when I do something that someone is grateful for. Yet, it isn’t true that I want a hug from just anyone. Anyway, this isn’t about hugging, this is about honesty and considering the needs of everyone equally important in relationships.
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