Recently I was visiting with a friend and we were having a lively discussion about something --I can’t remember what. In the middle of our conversation, he said to me, “Could you repeat that? I wasn’t listening.” The honesty of that statement was precious and frankly, funny to me. How many people would say that? How many people would lie and say something else, like “I didn’t hear you,” for fear of the repercussions of their honesty? Would you be offended?
Read MoreAs you are finding ways to relate to your partner (and others), remember that practicing is the only way you will make the new grooves in your capacity to create something new.
Read MoreSharing my story about the noises in my wall to illustrate the meaning I’ve made and the feelings that I had as a result of my thoughts. The needs are the same: safety, security. My feelings of distress were because I was sure that those needs weren’t being met. The noise meant something bad was happening. I was certain that was true. The same noise, 10 years later, I felt more calm and relaxed because the meaning I made of the noise in my wall was that I was safe and warm. The noise itself, was the same.
Read MoreWhat is your capacity to swipe left? Is it before you say or do something that you regret?
Read MoreEmpathy. It doesn’t have to be complicated and long to weave a sense of connection and care into any relationship.
Read MoreTake a look at the difference between confrontation and simple difference of opinion. How to speak up and still invite dialogue and connection.
Read MoreWhen you say this, who are you giving the power to? If you think you can’t, why?
Read MoreNVC works. Maybe always. And I rarely use the word always. Let’s begin with the reminder that if you are ‘using’ Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to get what you want, isn’t actually NVC. It is something else.
Read MoreWhile we say we are desperately seeking connection, many times it is lost because of our own behaviors, choices and communication, rather than what another person is doing. This is good news!
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