What About Sex?

Oooh!  A big question.  A complicated topic.  One that so rarely gets talked about with the curiosity, depth and sensitivity that it requires.

Sex can offer us some of the most pleasure and ecstatic experience possible.  It is also can be used to take someone’s power away, and create (in some cases) life long pain.

Awkward Conversations. Yes, you must have them.

There are a wide variety of what could be considered awkward conversations that couples and soon-to-be couples can have. In my opinion the sooner you have them, the more likelihood the relationship will work out.  What makes them awkward, of course, is complicated.  It depends on the people in the relationship, what they want, their individual communication skills, and communication compatibility as a couple.

Let’s start with this one.  

Speak Up! I Can't Hear Me. [part 1 of a series]

Have you been taught, either implicitly or explicitly, that speaking up or speaking out is bad?  Have you heard or somehow just know, that good girls don’t yell, good Christians don’t get angry, unless you have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?  Have you been silenced in a group, waiting your turn to speak up and your turn never comes?  Have you been told that what you say and how you say it doesn’t have value?  Maybe it has been made crystal clear to you that you're too sensitive, and that your feelings aren’t valid nor are they important?

I Want to Tell You How I Feel

In Nonviolent Communication classes we spend a whole bunch of time figuring out how to feel our feelings.  How do we notice them?  How to distinguish feelings from thoughts, games to discern one feeling from another.  Practices to enhance our capacity to say what they are.    We have sheets and cards and magnets and games.  All so we can know what our feelings are.

And now you want to share them.

What Are We Waiting For?

This past week I became aware of something I do.  And it wasn’t the only time.  I have done it quite a few times.  Something happens and I instantly feel frustrated.  First thing was to actually notice that I was upset (and in some weird way, needing a minute to admit it to myself).  I think I often don’t want to be upset.  So…here it is --this was my process.  I wonder if you do this too?

Core Strengthening

We all know what this means.  Ab work. 

And, if you have a trainer, you might learn quickly that having a strong core is not just ab work.  It is strengthening all the muscles, including the abdominals so that we are strong in all our movements.  Our entire body benefits and becomes sturdy, durable and protected so it will function optimally throughout the day.

A Little Give and Take

I talk with a great deal of people some of whom share with me that they are ‘so ready for a relationship!’  These are words I understand and remember saying myself.

And, I wonder.  Are you really ready?

Split the Check

I went to dinner last night to celebrate a friend’s birthday.  There were 11 of us.

We bought plates for the middle of the table and shared whatever came out.  The food was delicious.  The conversation lively.  The evening was enjoyed by all.

When it came time to pay for the meal...

Will You Please?

When you say to someone “Will you please (fill in the blank)?”, how delighted are you when receive a no in response?  Your answer to this question is critical to the success of your relationships.  When I say success, I mean how much you enjoy relating with other people.