Football Through the Lens of Nonviolent Communication ~ Super Bowl Sunday in Philadelphia

It was bound to happen.  I got caught up in all the buzz that is Philadelphia through its sports teams.  The Eagles are in the Super Bowl and playing tonight.  The Phillies made it to the World Series.  Whenever ‘we’ are doing well the excitement and joy that spreads throughout this city is palpable.  It is a happiness fog that you walk through if you go outside (or turn on the television).

I find it intoxicating and a wonderful time to be here.

I don't consider myself a fan of my local teams (sorry).

Yet when we are winning, all of a sudden I care. 

Why?

Because my deep needs for belonging and inspiration and joy and celebration are being wildly met.  Everyone is wearing the same color.  There is an obvious kinship and shared reality with strangers.  I can say “Go Birds” to any passer-by and reliably receive a similar greeting, or at very least a smile.

I think its true everywhere.  And especially here.  Possibly you must be from here to get it.  Philadelphia fans have a reputation of being [let’s call it] fierce.  We live and die by our teams. 

There are thousands of T-shirts that say “It’s a Philly Thing”.  Why?  Because one of the players said it.  Philadelphians embrace our grittiness.  The Flyers even have a mascot called Gritty.  I think the first day he showed up, the city was confused, and now, he is beloved.

When then President Trump said on national TV, “bad things happen in Philadelphia”, within minutes you could buy T-shirts with that phrase emblazoned on the front.

Back to the Super Bowl.

Our quarterback is Jalen Hurts.  He is 24 years old.  He is black.  He is soft spoken.  He was not hired to be our starter (I’m not exactly sure about this?). His college history has some sort of slight in it, like he was sidelined at some point.  Tracking him a bit these past few weeks, I learned that on the days off, he suggested to our coach (another inspiration story), that they go in and work (practice).  When asked why, he said, “This isn’t forever, and it is what we are going for.  I am going to give it everything I have.” I listened to an interview today.  I don’t know the question he was asked.  His response was, “I had a purpose before anyone had an opinion.”  This man is steeping with personal meaning and purpose.  These are needs.  They are his touchstones.  They are what drive his actions.  He embodies and radiates leadership.

What about inspiration?  Wildly met —at least for me.  Watching these men bond, being the best in their sport I find inspiring.  Learning a bit about football these past few weeks, I understand more that what’s happening on the field is much more than a bunch of guys running into each other.  They each have a job to do.  These men are doing it so well. The center (again, not sure I’m getting this just right), is there to protect the quarterback and anyone on our team who has the ball.  How sweet is that??!  Our center, Jason Kelce is quite a character.  He is not soft spoken. He cares so much.  He exudes confidence.  Some of the needs met by how he walks in the world are leadership, collaboration, cooperation and an abundance of passion.  All the players speak about stepping up when necessary, and doing it with and for each other.  Again, the needs met are collaboration, cooperation, care, meaning, maybe even love?

In this particular Super Bowl, there are some interesting stories.  It is the first time two brothers are playing on opposite teams.  What’s so fun to witness is how much these Kelce brothers seem to love each other.  Their mom is part of the story, wearing a jersey that has the color and numbers of each of her sons.  She brought them cookies —it is a wholesome story.  In a time when we have become so polarized, there is actually some warmth and affection amongst ‘enemies’.  And, the coach of the Kansas City team was the coach here in Philadelphia for many years —still loved by many.  It’s unusual to be experiencing such respect and celebration woven in with the fierce desire to win.

Some other needs in general that I experience when watching the interviews are intention.  Most of these players have dreamed of being the best, and these men are.  Being the best meets needs of achievement, competence, accomplishment.  It has taken immeasurable amounts of practice, perseverance, consistency —all needs (touchstones) to make it.  Likely some good luck as well for many.

My city, perhaps along with many others, is struggling now.  Crazy off the chart number of murders, and carjacks, gunpoint holdups —not to mention being the heroine/fentanyl capital of the US, makes it challenging to live here.  The never ending trash in front of my own home, and even worse in the neighborhoods that surround my own, plus the loss of trees and green spaces only to be replaced by big and poorly built apartment complexes sometimes challenge my resolve to fight the good fight to stay and contribute to supporting programs that enhance quality of life here.

This Super Bowl season —and our entire season here in Philadelphia, I’ll happily steep in the inspiration, celebration, intention, accomplishment, perseverance, consistency, care, love, belonging, kinship, enthusiasm, passion, joy.

Do I find myself wondering how to generate this kind of enthusiasm when it comes to keeping our city safe and clean?  Yes I do.

GO BIRDS!