Mental Wellness ~ A Better Name for Mental Illness?

Mental Illness is such an important topic.  We have begun to address the idea more openly as a society.  In my experience there have some sports stars leading the charge by speaking more freely about their anxiety and fears.  What I think is unfortunate is that they are being burdened with the label of Mental Illness.  Quite frankly, I believe that speaking openly about our internal experiences actually reflects Mental Wellness. 

We are working our way towards addressing our emotional worlds with more transparency.  The great news is that we are making progress.  The challenge we have is how we invite this new conversation out into the open for discussion. 

The topic of mental illness can bring to mind institutions, archaic and often harmful ways to treating folks who didn’t fit in so well to society.  For some, we think of straight jackets, electric shock, strong medications, big diagnoses and horror movies.  Why would we mention our struggles if this is what struggling has long been associated with?

While it is becoming more commonplace to acknowledge our difficulties to manage in the world we live in, to my mind the context remains ‘there is something wrong with you’.  We (as a society) are more willing to be compassionate and accepting that you get help for your problems.  Sometimes we even praise some of our sport stars like Naomi Osaka (tennis) Simone Biles (Olympic gymnast) football player from Philadelphia Reuben Frank, for speaking up, yet the language sports commentators and news anchor people is so distant and matter-of-fact that most it often sounds like placating or sometimes condescension to my ears.  Like they don’t want to touch it with a ten foot pole, yet they are required to say something, and that something should be supportive.  There is some sort of collective sigh of relief when they ‘snap out of it’ and begin to act normal again. 

It has been a rough couple of years, hasn’t it?  I’ve been in conversation with so many who are feeling ‘off’ in some (often indefinable way).  Putting words to what is happening inside proves difficult.  I have heard so, so often, ‘my life is good, yet…I’m just not happy.  I’m apathetic, or have anxiety that I don’t quite understand.  I can’t quite get motivated.  I’m depressed all the time’.  Vague sense of discomfort or loss of something.

While I understand what the years of separation and fear caused by the pandemic (and our general response to what was being asked of us) has contributed a great deal to an overarching melancholy (at best) and wild polarization (loss—or loss of trust) of friends and family members, I prefer not to address that.

What’s important to me is how we consider what’s happening.  Is there really something wrong with people who are unhappy?  Or are they accurately (appropriately) responding to a set of circumstances? 

Our emotions are designed to let us know if needs are being met, not being met, are we in danger, etc.  If we looked at what emotions are showing up more specifically, possibly there will be more connection to the needs associated with them.  If we (as a society) and approached people’s struggles with care, curiosity and compassion, asked simple questions —for example:  “What’s important to you about this?” possibly folks would feel more confident in sharing both their celebrations and struggles as just the way of life. 

I repeat over and over in classes and coaching sessions, there are no such thing as positive and negative emotions.  They are simply information sources.  Again in our culture, my thoughts track to the patriarchy and how emotions have been relegated to women and are seen as a sign of weakness.  Yet, this is another tangent I prefer to stay away from.  In my opinion being feeling-literate is one of the effective ways we all can take our personal power back.  Being feeling literate is actually a sign of strength and wellness.

If we —as a culture, approached feelings from this perspective, perhaps we help those who are struggling to find contentment to navigate their situations and decisions with more confidence and ease.  Relieving days, months and years of suffering.

For many of us we are living in a world that no longer makes sense.  We have lost our connection with each other, which is devastating to humans as pack animals.  In addition we have lost our connection to the natural world — we believe it is something different than us.  Most people think we should have wilderness (over there), a place we, as humans don’t go and know little about, rather than navigate within it, taking our place in it (giving us a deep sense of belonging and meaning in life). 

If we have having feelings indicating that something is wrong, isn’t that actually an indication of the fact that we are mentally well —accurately assessing the situation we find ourselves in? 

Mental wellness.  Embrace your feelings and trust they are guiding you to what’s important.