Not another goldfish story?!
Yes and no. Well, yes.
One of my goldfish went over the last waterfall into the basin where the pump is. It will eventually be covered up so s/he would not survive. In order to save his/her life, I went in with the big net and caught it. It was flopping in the net, obviously in distress. Even though I repeated, “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay”. In retrospect I was likely trying to calm myself, at very least in addition to the fish.
Once I placed the fish into the lovely big pond with plants and other fish it was once again swimming around seemingly in delight.
I was saving the fish’s life. Yet…
The response of the fish was distress. In the place where it was likely to die, the fish wanted to remain.
I wonder how often that happens in our own lives. We think (we are) happy. Something changes our lives —big or even small and we instantly go into distress. Once we are safely on to the next thing, we find calm again. After some time, you and I might even ask ourselves (or tell ourselves) the benefit of the chaos.
I have heard quite a few people say things like, “cancer saved my life, best thing that ever happened to me was that s/he left when they did. I am so glad I missed the party because I met ……”
Maybe now is a good time to become a bit more mindful. Take a look at your surroundings. Are your relationships what you want them to be? I am reminded of this article I just read in the Paris Review, called the Crane Wife. She is talking about how many years she was with her fiancé, and wasn’t happy. Although it didn’t really register to the writer and it seemed like the story was about what a loser her partner was. I found this story to be so melancholy and so common.
My hope in all the things I write is for you to wake up sooner rather than later and choose your life. Choose your relationship. Choose your job. Choose where you live.
I am not suggesting that you are to be 100% thrilled in every moment with everything that is happening. I am suggesting that you know why —in every moment, that you are choosing to stay.
Unlike my fish, if life takes you over the waterfall you didn’t intend, you can evaluate where you are and decide if you want to stay or if you do not.